Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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