I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
