I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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