If i come over, it means nothing
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize