And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Boobs speak an international language.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize