Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
