and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
