it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize