Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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