I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Operation Purity has been aborted
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
