thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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