Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There's even glitter on my cock...
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