Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
