I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
