So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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