He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
