"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Randomize
