Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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