her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
