he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
