okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
