so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Girls should come with a carfax report
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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