I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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