yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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