I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
