Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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