I wannas sexs uuuuu
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize