i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
