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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
