D3 body, D1 cock
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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