when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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