Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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