Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
