What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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