I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
