Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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