God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
