We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
