absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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