wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is Oprah even human
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
