My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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