Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize