i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
