Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
