5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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