I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize