I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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