that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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