Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
