i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The air was thick with penises
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
