Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
