So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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