I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize