fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
