you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize