How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
