you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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