The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
