Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize