If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
