You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
