So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
why is half of my head shaved?
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