break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
