Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have fence marks all over my body
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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