No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
