i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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