Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
