Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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