After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
