You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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