..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
